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CASE STUDY
"Father Jim" • Relapse: Part of Recovery

Ken Phillips, TOR is The Coordinator of Continuing Care at SLI.

Father Jim is stopped for questioning by the police for loitering at a public rest stop. The Bishop is called by one of the police and Father Jim is asked to come to the chancery to meet with the Vicar for Clergy. Father Jim had been arrested and sent for treatment two years ago and everyone thought he was doing better. So, after two years of recovery is he back to where he started?What happens next is crucial. Does Father Jim lose his faculties? Is he sent back for more inpatient treatment? Is he threatened by the Vicar out of fear that he will return to old behaviors? How Fr. Jim frames what is happening to him and how will he respond are also very important.

What Has Been Happening
Fr. Jim's friends have noticed he has not been in touch with them recently. He has not called for a support group meeting. He said that he had enough therapy for now and was stopping. His family has not heard from him for quite a while. He said he was not getting anything out of the twelve step meetings he attended recently and this was now behind him. The Jesu Caritas group he used to attend does not meet anymore since many of the members have been transferred from the area and it was too hard to get together. Since his arrest two years ago, he has not been to a diocesan function for fear and shame of meeting fellow clergy and what they might say. In addition, the consolidation of the three parishes in his town is taking up all his time and meeting with angry parishioners is using up much of his energy.

Prelude to Relapse
Many of Fr. Jim's choices are heading him for relapse. He has stopped twelve step participation, stopped therapy, is isolated from clergy and family and is overwhelmed by the task of being part of a consolidation plan for parishes. He is not using his support structure, including his support group, to process feelings of being overwhelmed. He has returned to old ways of coping such as isolation and to seeking attention and affection from anonymous sexual encounters. Not availing himself of the support, encouragement and feedback of those who care for him is one of the sure fire ways to regress to old behavior. Father Jim is not convinced that the people in his support group really care or are willing to be of help and support to him when he is feeling down and inadequate. He feels guilty asking them to spend their valuable time listening to him. Old ways of thinking and old behaviors are taking over.

Relapse: Part of Recovery
Relapse can take many forms: taking a drink, going to the casino, gaining back weight by compulsive eating, returning to the internet for pornography or any of a variety of compulsive behaviors. Although Twelve Step wisdom tells us that relapse is part of recovery, it is a difficult part. Relapse can be turned into a disaster or another step on the journey of recovery. It can be an opportunity to deepen one's recovery by deepening the surrender to what has become unmanageable and over which one is powerless.

After Father Jim was called by the Vicar for Clergy he called his continuing care therapist at Saint Luke to tell her what had happened. He was terrified and ashamed, yet did not minimize what had happened. The Vicar for Clergy had already alerted Saint Luke that Fr. Jim was in trouble and several options were discussed: dismiss him from the diocese, send him back for more treatment, send him back for a continuing care workshop to assess his needs and level of recovery and then make a recommendation, send him to a long-term residential placement where he could live out the rest of his life, or retire him from all active ministry.

Working Together
When Father Jim met with his vicar, he was filled with shame about his risky behavior and admitted it. Together they decided he would return for a continuing care workshop to assess his needs and to process his relapse behavior. As he met with his peers in recovery and the therapeutic staff during the workshop, it became obvious that Father Jim's support structure had deteriorated. He was no longer using the tools of recovery he had learned and he was not caring for himself as he coped with a very challenging ministry situation. Old ways of thinking and behaving seemed to him the only way to handle stress. Despite the pain and shame his compulsive behavior had caused him in the past, to some degree, it had worked to relieve stress. This is the lure of addictive behavior--it works for the moment. However, it eventually costs your very soul. Father Jim could have denied his relapse behavior to the Vicar for Clergy and, due to overwhelming shame and fear, minimized the incident. The Vicar could have angrily threatened him with loss of ministry. Both of these would likely lead to disaster rather than opportunity.

Instead, Father Jim came to the very next continuing care workshop. The continuing care staff determined that he did not need to come back to inpatient treatment. He did, however, need an overhaul of his recovery plan and a good look at his recovery contract. He had become unaware of his "BUDding" signs or triggers - early signs pointing in the direction of relapse. He was isolating himself, under tremendous stress at work, not attending twelve step meetings, and not processing his feelings with fellow clergy or support group members, either as a group or individually. Attending to budding signs or triggers is vital because they point to relapse long before it happens. They are precisely early signs that cannot be ignored by the person or those around him.

Father Jim did go back to his assignment. He started going to twelve step meetings and got a solid sponsor. He met with his support group and processed the relapse behavior and together they decided they would begin again to meet with him on a monthly basis for as long into the future as it was helpful. He sought out a mentor from the diocese and a therapist to work with him in his ministerial and personal choices. Father Jim had forgotten and was reminded by his relapse that powerlessness is a part of everyone's life and opportunities to reaffirm the principles of recovery occur throughout one's life. Awareness of vulnerability and having tools readily available and well practiced can mean the difference between disaster and opportunity.

LUKENOTES is a bimonthly publication of Saint Luke Institute.
Permission to use these materials must be requested in writing by contacting
lukenotes@sli.org

SLI EDUCATION DEPARTMENT
Saint Luke Institute
8901 New Hampshire Ave.
Silver Spring, MD 20903
(301) 422-5499 • (301) 422-5519 (fax)

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