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CASE STUDY
"Sister Ruth" • Negativistic Personality Disorder

Sister Ruth should have her photo in the dictionary next to the word "procrastinator". Throughout her career she has constantly resisted all demands for adequate performance. She always has an excuse for the delays she inflicts on those around her, often attributing blame to authority figures or to those with whom she interacts.

Sister Ruth thinks nothing of keeping the other sisters waiting and, when challenged, she will read off for them the list of things she had to do with which they did not help.

She also "plays dumb" in her ministry as a parish associate. She fails to ask questions about any particular task assigned to her. For example when Father Ambrose, her pastor, asked her to prepare a baptism liturgy she became sullen and irritable. When confronted about some un-addressed detail she stated "this is not my job" and blamed him for the resulting confusion.

In her relationships, she seems to constantly develop situations where she and others depend on each other. Her passive and detrimental behavior is experienced by the other people as punitive and manipulative. It is paradoxical but Sister Ruth seems to prefer this crazy and infuriating way of being with others rather than being successful and appreciated.
Her Provincial superiors are also pulled into this web of enmeshment as they try to assuage her many claims of how other sisters or parish staff have treated her unjustly. She is unaware of how she will so enrage others, that they will eventually say or do something out of character for them, but out of frustration!

Do you have a Sister Ruth in your community? A 'Brother' Ruth? Do you have to deal with a 'Father' Ruth? The behavior portrayed in this case study is symptomatic of underlying problems which will not "just go away".

Help for "Sister Ruth"
In the previous edition we talked about 'Sister Ruth'. She is the embodiment of the person who does not perform, blames you, and you both end up angry. This condition is very common. Our readers tell us that there are 'Ruths' in rectories and convents across the land.

When we encounter 'Ruthitis' we find ourselves asking: "Could she be right? Could it really be me?" Trust me, it isn't you. The fact that you feel that way is one of the signs that you might be in the presence of a person with a personality disorder.

In the DSM IV, it is called Negativistic Personality Disorder (that kind of captures it, no?), "a pervasive pattern of negativistic attitudes and passive resistance to demands for adequate performance in social and occupational situations that begins by early adulthood and occurs in a variety of contexts."

What we are observing with 'Sister Ruth' (please excuse the gender insensitivity, editor, but...), is a person provoked to significant anger, but unable to express it in any direct way. Such persons have learned indirect ways to express anger, especially to refuse to do things that they are asked to do, to do them inadequately, or to fail at doing them. They tend to experience everyone else in the world as being angry at them.

Remember the parable of the two sons who were told to go to the field to work, and the second one said he would go but didn't? The second son just might have had a Negativistic Personality Disorder! So, what to do?

Remember that you are dealing with a person who is simply furious, and if nothing is done, will stay that way. No. It isn't about you, you have to realize that she holds a place of responsibility and must be held to it.

So, you must hear her complaints, empathize with her feelings (i.e. "Sister, I can hear that you are angry and upset. I understand how you feel."), and then immediately present her with the reality of the situation (i.e. "You agreed to prepare the baptismal liturgy, yet when it was needed for the actual service it was not completed.). She will blame you, or present an excuse; you repeat the pattern (i.e. "Sister, I understand that you feel overwhelmed and put upon. I can see that you are upset. I notice that it is very difficult for me to speak with you about your work. When I do so, as I am doing right now, it seems very difficult for us to stay on the subject of your responsibility."). You will have to do this over and over yet this is your only hope.

You must remain non-defensive, you must empathize with her FEELINGS, and you must confront her with what you see. You simply present the consequences and start the process again. It is frustrating, but the hope is that eventually 'Sister Ruth' learns that she cannot get you to attack her or reject her, which would verify her angry picture of the world, but that you will not absolve her of her responsibility either.

If 'Sister Ruth' has been at this for years, as you adopt these patterns she may get worse before she gets better. If she can't use others as targets for her internal anger, she will start experiencing it in herself, which will not be at all pleasant. She may up the ante by becoming more defiant, but more likely she will become depressed.

It would be perfectly acceptable to seek outside help in the form of a mental health expert. Perhaps medication would help. Perhaps some time away with therapy is called for. Perhaps you can get some consultation for your staff or community so that everyone in the picture gets insight into how to relate to 'Sister Ruth'.

All in all, this becomes a long term project, yet it can work, and it will certainly save you peace of mind and the peace of mind of the people in your community or parish. Be reassured - it isn't you; you have the right to expect competent performance, and you should use all means, within and without your community or parish to address the problem.

Men and women who suffer with this disorder can be helped. It takes patience, skill, and commitment.

LUKENOTES is a bimonthly publication of Saint Luke Institute.
Permission to use these materials must be requested in writing by contacting
lukenotes@sli.org

SLI EDUCATION DEPARTMENT
Saint Luke Institute
8901 New Hampshire Ave.
Silver Spring, MD 20903
(301) 422-5499 • (301) 422-5519 (fax)

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