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One Ugly Christmas Story

An Interview With Senator George McGovern by Phil Kelly, OFM Conv.
Vol. I No. 6
December 1997/January 1998

This is one ugly Christmas story. This is not one of those hope-filled accounts of someone finding sobriety, health and happiness. This is about Terry, how she suffered, how everyone she touched suffered.

The book flap tells it all: It was just before Christmas, 1994 that Senator George McGovern received the terrible news that his forty-five-year old daughter, Terry ....in an alcoholic stupor had stumbled out of a bar and into a snow-bank, where she fell asleep and froze to death.

It is the story of her parents. The senator decided not to hide the stark ugliness of how alcohol kills. He wrote TERRY My Daughter's Life and Death Struggle with Alcohol. The New York Times calls it "a harrowing ...drama of love and loss." At Christmas time, this 'Happiest Time of the Year,' alcohol can be the delightful lubricant for most social gatherings. It can also be that terrifying element which brings rage, violence and fear to countless families and even rectories and religious houses. It is a good time to read TERRY.

When he spoke at the Washington launch of the Penguin paperback, McGovern mentioned the Vietnam war, but immediately added, "Just imagine, if we were able to remembered those who have died of alcoholism since that war their memorial would be twenty times as long as the one which commemorates those 58,000 brave young Americans who died in that war. Three hundred and fifty die every day".

At one point, responding to a question from the audience, his voice broke. "I have spoken about Terry a thousand times," he stated as he wiped his eyes, "but it still hurts".

Afterwards he talked to LUKENOTES:

What have you learned about alcoholism since the publication of Terry?

I've learned what an insidious, relentless, baffling disease it is. I don't think I had any idea of the power of that addiction over my daughter. She desperately wanted to get well; she could not.

What has surprised you?

The number of people who have told me that they've had similar experiences. Relapse in my opinion is the number one problem of alcoholism.

What is it about alcoholism that people still do not understand?

Millions do not accept alcoholism as a disease. They still think these are weak-willed, undisciplined, if not immoral people who are deliberately dissipating their lives.

If you had ten minutes with the Catholic bishops of America what would you tell them?

Above all, I would say to the bishops that they should counsel their people to despise alcoholism but love the alcoholic. Alcoholics need to know that no matter how deep they fall under that addiction somebody loves them.

If you had the pulpit of America's churches on a Sunday morning what would you say about intervention and tough love?

Intervention can save someone's life. Tough love? I would be careful. If you are going to practice it, don't forget about the love part of it. Don't just be tough. You don't have to let yourself be run over time after time by alcoholics and exhaust your finances and break up all the family functions, but they still need to know that they are loved.

Thank You, Senator.

The following is a transcript of a telephone message LUKENOTES received from Senator McGovern in response to a copy of the newsletter sent to him before the edition went to press. We chose to print his comments alongside our article rather than change our original wording.

Phil, this is George McGovern.

Your piece on our interview is fine, except for two fundamental errors: the title and first line are wrong. It refers to Terry's death as an ugly Christmas story, it was anything but that. It was very sad and poignant but her death has become a redeeming factor in the lives of thousands of people across this country including our family. So, you can refer to it as a sad Christmas story but certainly not an ugly one. I suppose the death of Christ was an ugly one too, but not one that we think of in those terms.

And the second thing that is wrong in the first paragraph, is that you referred to how everyone she touched suffered. Just the reverse is true; everyone who knew Terry remembers her compassion, her delightful sense of humor, her concern about other people. People who loved her obviously were hurt by what she was doing to herself, but she both, in life and death, enriched and redeemed far more people than she ever hurt in any way. So, that should definitely be changed.

The way that I tell it is that Terry literally saved the lives of scores of people by her compassion, her concern and her determination to get them into treatment. That's really the story.

Thanks a lot Phil.

LUKENOTES is a bimonthly publication of Saint Luke Institute.
Permission to use these materials must be requested in writing by contacting
lukenotes@sli.org

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