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The Internet and Cybersex

Lynn M. Levo, CSJ, Ph.D.
Vol. IV No. 3
May/June 2000

The Internet is profoundly impacting many facets of our lives, especially communication, relational patterns and sexuality. Cybersex is a type of on-line sexual expression that ranges from simple curiosity to obsessive involvement, from photographs to chat rooms to Net meetings where you can look at sex partners in real time, from normal information seeking and curiosity to downloading pornography and problematic compulsive behavior. We have received several inquiries from seminaries, dioceses and from religious congregations about the internet and cybersex. Based on clinical information and the empirical data gathered to date, we are beginning to understand what makes cybersex so problematic for some, who is likely to be at risk for cybersex compulsivity, the impact on individuals and their relationships, and treatment implications. At this time to approach this topic as anything more than a learner is, however, both premature and naïve.

Cybersex can be insidiously compulsive.
There are three key factors that appear to give the Internet its power with regard to sexuality: access, affordability and anonymity. The Triple -- A Engine (Cooper, et. al. 1998), makes the Internet a unique format to pursue sexual interests. The Internet can be an intensely addicting stimulus because it has these inherent characteristics:

• Multimedia stimulation and an interactive nature
• Ease of access and 24 hour availability
• Lack of boundaries and weakening of boundaries
• Immediate self-gratification without responsibility or commitment
• Loss of time happens rapidly
• Sexual material is plentiful and prices are kept low
• Persons feel protected by the perceived anonymity they feel, increasing their sense of freedom, willingness to experiment and pace of self-disclosure
• Promotion of fantasy, unrealistic expectations, and a false sense of intimacy.

Who is at Risk?
Current research suggests that while many persons are "recreational users," i.e., persons who are not hooked and use the Internet to satisfy curiosity, obtain information, and experiment with sexual urges, there are others who are either "compulsive users," i.e., persons who exhibit compulsive traits or have a pattern of unconventional sexual practices or "at-risk users," i.e., persons without a prior history of sexual compulsivity, who then experience problems in their lives because of their on-line sexual pursuits (Cooper et al., 2000.)

Although psychologists have barely begun to understand the personal and interpersonal dynamics of on-line behavior in general, and of sexual dynamics in particular, the following clusters of characteristics seem to be associated with at-risk users:

• Acute or chronically depressed persons, especially survivors of sexual abuse, who use on-line sexual encounters to medicate their dysphoria
• Stress reactive persons who use on-line sexual behavior primarily during periods of high stress as a temporary escape, distraction or means of coping with their feelings
• Dependent persons who use the highly interactive features of the internet to meet, socialize and exchange ideas
• Individuals with low self-esteem who gain status and prestige by their activity on the web (e.g., being a source of new photos)
• Individuals with inadequate social skills who are often socially isolated and use the Internet for connection with others.

"Compulsive users" have compulsive traits (e.g., sensation seeking, lack of control, abuse of other substances) and depend on the Internet to supply them with sources of stimulation and satisfaction for their unconventional sexual predilections and behaviors (e.g., preoccupation with pornography, anonymous sexual encounters, pedophilia or ephebophilia.)

Negative Interpersonal Consequences
Although for many persons the Internet positively impacts sexuality and interpersonal relating, for a growing number of at-risk and compulsive users the Internet negatively impacts them in a variety of ways including:

• Temporary mood alteration (e.g., decreased loneliness and increased euphoria) which does not change their life situation and eventually reinforces excessive usage.
• Increased isolation and decreased opportunity for intimate relating at work, with friends and family and with their community.
• Generating unrealistic expectations and a false sense of intimacy so that real life relating can never compare to the pseudo intimacy of on-line relating.

Treatment Options
Treating at-risk and compulsive Internet users is a complex process that requires sound assessment and a multidisciplinary approach. As with other compulsive behavior, the cycle of denial and isolation needs to be broken. A 12 Step Model and group therapy, along with individual therapy are essential to break this cycle and address the underlying issues of depression, low self-esteem, social inadequacy, sexual integration and mood altering behavior. Spiritual direction will also assist the person, especially with sexual integration. For many, staying away from the Internet and its endless source of stimulation, or using a computer "in public" will be necessary for a return to real-life relating.

Cooper, A., Scherer, C., Boies, S., and Gordon, B., Sexuality on the Internet: From Sexual Exploration to Pathological Expression. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice. April, 1999, Vol. 30, No. 2, 154-164.

Cooper, A., Boies, S., Maheu, M., and Greenfield, D. Sexuality and the Internet: The New Sexual Revolution. Szuchman, L. & Muscarella, F. Psychological Perspectives on Human Sexuality. New York, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 2000.

Lynn M. Levo, CSJ, Ph.D. is Director of Education at Saint Luke Institute.

LUKENOTES is a bimonthly publication of Saint Luke Institute.
Permission to use these materials must be requested in writing by contacting
lukenotes@sli.org

SLI EDUCATION DEPARTMENT
Saint Luke Institute
8901 New Hampshire Ave.
Silver Spring, MD 20903
(301) 422-5499 • (301) 422-5519 (fax)

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